Pkchukiss - Reality Wine

It is the bane of not only people on duty, but also people who suddenly have a significant amount of time to burn: you find yourself stuck away from your computer, PSP, or other technological time spenders, yet still having to pass the time.

You start twiddling your thumb, try to count the sheeps, pace up and down the room for the umpteenth time, then growl in frustration at the security cameras - I know, we have all been there before, and could barely make it out there bore-crazed.

You could start thumbing your phone, only to realise the battery would only yield 2 hours of play time before the entire machine needs to be plugged in again. If you happen to be doing guard duty at any of the installations, you probably only have one other person to talk to. That is not counting yourself.
What happens when you can only manage to elicit grunts and monosyllabic answers from the only person with you in the dead of the night? Here are some ways you could waste your time away without electricity-dependant gadgets:

1. Breath Play: If you have ever gone to the swimming pool, you should have seen divers who seem to be able to jump into the water, swim to the other end of the pool without resurfacing for breath along the way. When you have nothing else to do, why not start training your lung capacity while at it? Start by holding your breath, and time yourself. Stop and note the time when you had to breathe again. Continuously try to improve on your previous time after a short rest.Not only does this improve your lung capacity, it also annoys the grunt next to you, who may decide to strangulate you after your umpteenth wheeze.
2. Knuckles: Crack your knuckles, then reload the air-gaps in the sockets by shaking your hand vigorously. Wait half an hour. Anticipate the annoyance to the grunt while waiting. When the time comes, creep as close to his ear as possible, then execute your shot. Prepare to block blow from angry grunt.
3. Nail Filing: It sounds disgusting, but with the help of a nail filer, you can file a long fingernails to a short one within hours. It is especially beneficial when you have to keep it short. To add to the challenge, use improvised surfaces to file the nails in the stead of a filer. Now you can pass time, and look presentable too!
4. Meditating: There are medical benefits to meditating; it trains your concentration, and the ability to ignore distractions. That is, unless the distraction is an enemy pointing a knife right at your throat. On to point 5.
5. Yoga: With mysterious yoga powers, you attack the assailant at his most vulnerable areas. After pinning the attacker on the ground, resume your Yoga exercise in lotus position - on top of the victim.
6. Paper-based games: If you have some paper and pen, and the grunt is sociable enough to cooperate, you could play the very famous game of tic-tac-toe, with some sort form of a punishment as a forfeit. My favourite forfeit is to drink a glass of water for every lost round. The ultimate winner is the person who isn’t the first to rush for the toilet. Also ensures that you get sufficient fluids.
7. Day Dream: Drift off into your own imaginary world where you are surrounded by your favourite XBox games kneeling at your feet, begging to be played. Proceed to ignore XBox and get down on your knees to beg for a PlayStation 3 instead.
8. Mini-exercises: For those who are almost permanently glued to the computer or television screen, being out there with no electricity powered wonders can really drive you crazy. Instead of talking to yourself, why not do some mini-exercises for your over-worked gamer hands? Rotate your wrists to their widest range of motion, flap your fingers up and down like a chicken.After all, this is still training.
9. Out-irritate, out-annoy, out-fight: If your grunt remains unresponsive after 20 minutes, proceed to employ drastic tactics to get him to acknowledge your presence. If you can’t be seen as a human being, at least be recognised as a pest!(Disclaimer: Advice 9 is made without any guarantees for your safety. In no way will anyone be responsible for your medical fees after you have executed this advice.
10. Talk: Last but not least, when all else fails you, you still have yourself to talk to.

I think there is a tongue in my cheek.

Filed under: General