23
Sep
Coming Soon to a blog near you: A series of Unfortunate Events
My pieces of luggage still laid strewn chaotically around my room, and Mother has been nagging me to clean up the act.
Did I think I was in an action film? I doubt so. After assuring Mother that this mess was not an act, I was given a deadline to clear them out. My brother would have sniggered had he heard that.
I didn’t resist the commands of the lady who gave birth to me, so I picked up the pieces, starting with all the dirty laundry I accumulated from the trip to the-country-that-must-not-be-named. I was really thankful that I had the sense to at least dunk them into ziplock bags, because the moment I opened the flap, I was treated to a cacophony of my own smells, totally corrupted by days of stewing in human sweat and pherohormones. Oh the joy the bacteria must had.
That task done, I decided to cluster the remaining pieces of luggage together in one corner of the room. As they like to say, presentation is everything, so I am sure that dressing up the room would help it look less dilapidated. Needless to say, I was only just being lazy. Playing dress up to my room is definitely a tough job, though not something unfamiliar, since I had to do it many times previously in camp.
I’ve started on writing about my misadventures (is it the right word?). It is a series of unfortunate events (which luckily still pales in comparison to the film/story with the same name) that happened to me while I was in the-country-that-must-remain-unamed. Inside that post, you will find fairy tale stories about how a camera decided to declare independance (not unlike the-country-that-must-not-be-named), of sore eyes and broken backs, of lost disembarkation cards, road near-misses.
Starring myself, a platoon of homesick scouts, battalion HQ, the kind police of the-country-that-must-not-be-named, taxi drivers, and hotel staff whom-insist-on-communicating-to-me-in-English-when-I-could-speak-Chinese-natively.
Coming Soon.
on September 24th, 2005 at 1:24 am
love the way you write.
question, what is that country that shall not be named? i’m curious.
on September 24th, 2005 at 2:41 am
Milktea, i can tell u but i would have to kill you if i did…………
OMG, u didn’t wash ur cloths once u touched down, that is so god damn sick
on September 27th, 2005 at 4:14 am
not to mention that the hotel staff gone wild that you could ACTUALLY WRITE IN CHINESE. Wow…ya…yahooo…
-Fortiscause-
on September 27th, 2005 at 2:32 pm
To: milktea,
Well, I can’t tell you the name of that country. As Ponnifer said, we would have to kill you.
But nobody has said anything against clueing.
Clue #1: Betel nuts
Clue #2: Tallest building in the world as of 2004/2005
Clue #3: Naruwan
I guess that it is more than blatantly obvious now, isn’t it? Try Google if the clues are still too hard to deciphere.
on September 27th, 2005 at 2:33 pm
To Ponnifer:
My blog usually holds higher precedence over most things, including washing clothes.
on September 27th, 2005 at 7:57 pm
I sure do not wish to smell u back in camp bleh
on September 27th, 2005 at 10:06 pm
and I really googled it just so you know…
-milktea
on October 2nd, 2005 at 10:22 pm
I wish my mother had been so fussy. Her way of dealing with my untidiness was to peek into my room, cover her eyes, say, “You really should clean that up sometime,” and close the door, adding, “I don’t want to look at it.”
I blame her. Yep, that’s it. It’s all her fault I’m such a slob.
(The Man is still working on the housecleaning thing, and my part of the house is the only really messy bit left. I’m feeling REALLY GUILTY.)